What are you focusing on? This is one of the most important questions you could answer for yourself.
You see, we are motivated by either toward motivators or away from motivators. So what do I mean by that? Well, when you’re motivated toward something, it means that you’re moving towards what you want. And when you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, it means your attention has to be focused on what you don’t want.
This is the problem.
Let’s use money as an example. So, someone might say they’re motivated to make more money because they want to buy their dream home and they want to be a millionaire, or whatever. Now, those are pretty much towards motivators. At least they sound that way so far. But what if they say “it’s because I don’t want to be poor.” They’re motivated to make more money because they don’t want to be poor. Or, maybe they say “I want to make more money because I want to have enough to get by” That’s moving away from what they don’t want which is poverty or not having enough.
Whenever someone is talking about what they want or what’s important to them in a certain area of life, (in this example, what’s important to them about making more money) and they use the word “don’t”, or any negatives, or if there’s a comparison, that’s a pretty good clue that it’s an away from motivator. And this is where it becomes a problem.
Now, you might be thinking “why is this a problem? They’re still motivated, so what’s the difference? Why does that matter if it’s towards or away?”
Well, if you’re motivated toward something, you will continually be motivated towards it until you get it. It’s powerful. When you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, the further away you get from it, the less motivated you are. As soon as you start moving away from what it is you don’t want, the motivation decreases.
I’ll give you another example. Let’s talk about someone who’s working to release weight. You probably know someone or you’ve heard of someone, (or maybe you are someone) who at some point in the past may have tried out a diet and it worked for a bit and then they lost motivation fell off track and went right back to eating the old way, and following the old habits, until they got motivated to try again and maybe tried a different fad diet or maybe the same one, it doesn’t matter. Then they started going to the gym again, started doing the things that they needed to do, until they started to see some results again, got a little more comfortable, lost their motivation and repeated the cycle all over again.
This is really typical of someone who is motivated away from. In this example they may be motivated away from obesity or away from buying plus-sized clothes. Maybe they’re motivated away from feeling tired and sluggish, or they’re motivated away from what they see in the mirror.
As many of you know, I used to work in the fitness industry. So I know that a lot of personal trainers and people in that industry use away from motivators to try to motivate their clients. And this is no fault on them. They don’t know what they don’t know. They think they’re motivating them correctly, but really what’s happening is that they say, things like, “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have high blood pressure”, or “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have a heart attack or cancer,” whatever it is. And they think those are strong motivators, but the second that person starts to feel a little healthier, their blood pressure comes down, their blood sugar normalizes, they can walk up the stairs with ease, they lose the motivation. So it’s not a sustainable motivation. It doesn’t move them forward all the way to the goal.
That’s the problem with away from motivators. And that’s the typical cycle.
In the case of the weight loss, the person will become motivated again when the doctor tells them their blood pressure is too high again. Or when their pants are too tight again. Or when they’re out of breath walking up the stairs again. Whatever it is, and then they’ll have a little freak out about it, they’ll get upset, they’ll get motivated, they’ll start walking, they’ll start eating better, they’ll do the things that they know they need to do until they start to feel better and then they fall off again.
Here’s a fun fact: You have ninety thousand thoughts in a day. Ninety thousand! Give or take a few. How many of those do you think are towards what you want and how many are away from? Do you have any idea? Because you’d be surprised at how many people are motivated away from what they don’t want and they don’t even realize that they’re focusing on what they don’t want. Until they work with someone like me and we figure out that’s what’s going on.
And that’s why they’re not reaching their goals.
So, it’s really important to be motivated towards what you do want and not away from what you don’t want.
How do you do that? We start by letting go of past negative emotions and limiting decisions during the Personal Breakthrough process.
Imagine how much more productive you and your team will be when all of you are moving toward your goals will laser sharp focus. What would that do for your results?
Yours in Health and Prosperity,
There was a business man and he had amassed a fortune that amounted to three million pounds of gold dollars. And he decided that he would take a year off from work and live the kind of luxury that his wealth allowed him to. But no sooner had he made this decision than the angel of death beckoned him. Now, the man, who was a skillful negotiator, tried every argument he could think of to dissuade the angel and to buy himself more time. But the angel of death was adamant the man’s time had come. In final desperation, the rich man made the angel and offer. Give me three more days of life and I will give you a third of my wealth. A million pounds of gold dollars. The angel refused. Give me two more days of life and I will give you two thirds of my wealth. Two million pounds of gold dollars. The angel refused again. Give me one more day of life to enjoy this beautiful and bountiful planet and to spend a little time with my family who I have neglected for too long and I will give you all of my wealth. Three million pounds of gold dollars. But the angel cannot be persuaded. Finally, the man asked if the angel would grant just one little wish, just time to write a short paragraph and this wish was granted...
Now let’s talk about values. What are values? Well, simply put, values are what is most important to you. They’re simply what’s important. Values dictate not only what’s important to you but what motivates you. What motivates you, and what demotivates you. And values determine what you do. What we do day to day, what we don’t do, what actions we take, what actions we don’t take.
Now, you see, a lot of people, talk about values. And I’ve been to a lot of seminars and workshops where they talk about values and the importance of knowing your values in your business. What are your core values, they might say. Or what are your company’s core values? Well, see, the problem with that process is that the way they do it is extremely conscious. It’s a conscious process. That would be totally fine except that values are deeply unconscious.
And I’ve been through those processes before and I can tell you that once I really understood values, deep values, and I had my real values elicited, they looked nothing like what I thought they were going to be.
Maybe you’ve been to a seminar like that, or a workshop where they talk about values and and they hand you a piece of paper or they tell you to take out your notebook and they might say something like, “Write down your core values.” And everyone writes down these things that sound really nice. I mean, I know that’s what I did. I wrote down things that I thought they were true. And I wrote a list of values that sounded really good. And sounded like things that I would want to be values for my business.
And we have values for every context of our lives. You have a set of values for your career, and you have a set of values for relationships, and a set of values for your family. A set of values for health, a set of values for personal development. And the list can go on and on. In fact, you have values in every aspect of your life that you can think of and you also have life values. Life Values are values that govern over your whole life.
So maybe you’re wondering, “how can I use this?”
Let’s say you’re in business and you’re not making a lot of money. And then we elicit your values and money is way at the bottom of the list. That’s another important thing you need to know about values. The ones that are at the top, those are the most important values. And when we discover your values, we also discover the values hierarchy, or simply put, the level of importance. So, value number one, that is the most important that governs over everything. And two and three are also really important. Number four and five are pretty important. And then it goes down from there. And as we get further and further down the values hierarchy, they become more like subsets of the top values. So, the top ones really dictate your behaviour.
So, let’s say you’re in business and you’re not making the money you want but money is way down the bottom of your hierarchy. And this was the case with me. Back when I started working with my coach. I wasn’t seeing the kind of money I wanted in my business. So he elicited my values and money was way down the list and he said “well, this is why you’re not making any money. It’s not important enough.” We changed my Values Hierarchy and the next week, I started to make money.
Maybe you’re wondering how moving a value higher up in the hierarchy could change my results? Values dictate our behaviour. Suddenly my behaviour around money changed. And my belief in the value of what I was doing changed.
If you’re not making the money you want, chances are, your Values do not support your goals.
Now let’s say you have a company with a team of people working for you. What if, the individual values of each team member are not in alignment with the company values? What kind of results would your business be achieving? Not the ones you want.
When we elicit the values for the company or the team, we can align them so that everyone is in alignment, moving towards the same common purpose, and with the same values in the context of the business.
Imagine, for a moment, you’re working with a team of people all valuing the same thing. Really believing it. Really down in their core. Not an imposed set of values that you put on the wall that sound good, but real values. What do you think that would do for your business when everyones values are in alignment?
The business starts to become much more productive like a smoothly oiled machine.
Or, how about if you’re a solopreneur and you work on your own, how about when your values are in alignment for you? And you really know where you’re going and your unconscious mind has a clear direction of what’s important to you and the direction that you’re going in. What do you think that would do for your business? Because what I see happening when I work with my clients is that It’s like having a bow and arrow and hitting the target every single time. Suddenly you find that sweet spot where you hit the target every time. So, values are important.
And what I find interesting is that when values are done “the other way” outside of NLP, I never see profit showing on people’s values. And I think to myself “is money not important to your business? And if money’s not important then why aren’t you a non-profit?”
I think that’s something to think about. What are your real values? If you’re interested in how we can work together to align your company’s values to increase productivity and create a more cohesive work environment, contact me at www.teriholland.ca.
The man’s wish was granted. That he could just write a short paragraph and what he wrote was, “Make good use of your time on earth. I cannot buy even one hour of life for three million pounds of gold dollars. Be sure to know in your heart what things in your life are of true value and place your attention there.”
Yours in Health and Prosperity,
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Peak Performance Coach. I believe in playing big, going after your dreams and never settling for less than your absolute best.
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