Going Viral on TikTok
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[00:00:00] I went viral on TikTok and I learned some things about myself, and I'm gonna share them with you today. On this episode, we're gonna talk about people on the internet. We're gonna talk about how to handle trolls, and we're talking about cancel culture. So let's get to it. You are listening to Success in Mind with Teri Holland, the show for high performing entrepreneurs, leaders, and change makers ready to take your life and your business to the next level.
If you're ready for whole life success, keep listening. I did a video on TikTok that went crazy viral, and I'm not talking a little bit of viral. I'm not talking viral for me. I mean like it went crazy viral. It blew up. Previous to this one, my biggest video was over 600,000 views. Is pretty big too, but it was on a video that had nothing to do with what I do for work.
It was like a political comment. [00:01:00] And my other videos that have done really well, none of them were related to what I do or what I'm, what I do for work or anything attached to my identity in that way. So at another video that did almost a hundred thousand views and that one was about a crazy plant in my house.
Got a lot of plant people liking it. That was about it. And I did one before about Christmas lights. It was kind of a rant, and that one did really well too. I can't remember how many, maybe 400,000 views, but this one that I did last week got 2.4 million views and still getting views and still accumulating comments.
The comments are well over 5,000. There's no way I could ever read them all, and I have learned some lessons this week. First of all, people on the internet are not. And you might be laughing thinking, of course Teri, we know this and we do know this. We know this. Except when it's put right in our faces, it is different.[00:02:00]
Uh, people are really not nice. There are some nasty comments on there, but here's the important thing that I've learned is that I have developed the resilience to deal with it in the past. This is the kind of thing that would've taken me. When I launched this podcast, which will be eight years ago next month, when I launched this podcast, I reached number one, not once, but twice.
The first time it was exciting. It was only a day, and I was able to keep going, but the second time, I held onto it for 10 days, and that crippled me and I ended up shutting down. I didn't record anything for about six months. Maybe it was even longer. I think it was about six months. I didn't record anything.
Because I felt so overwhelmed that so many of you were listening that I shut down internally. I couldn't handle it. It was too big. It was too much. It was, I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't handle it, and I [00:03:00] wasn't even getting trolled, you guys. I wasn't even getting the negative feedback. I was getting really positive feedback and I couldn't handle it because I was afraid that it would turn into something bad.
It would become negative that at some point people would come at me, that would come for me. And I will tell you from podcasting experience of almost eight years, I have never received negative feedback for the podcast, never The most negative review, and I don't even consider it negative, but the most negative review I got was a four star review from somebody saying, Teri, please slow down.
I'm from the south, and you talk too fast for us down here. Really, it wasn't negative, it was just feedback. So, okay. I do talk fast. I know that I'm a fast talker. I try to slow down, but when I get excited, I talk fast. Anyway, my podcast audience, what I'm saying for you is that you have been a very loyal and kind audience, and I appreciate that, and [00:04:00] I still shut down when I reach number one in self-help.
Now, I did receive negative feedback before on Facebook. I got trolled badly. I got bullied. It wasn't just trolling. I was cyber bullied by some girls that I used to know. I've told this story before. I don't wanna bore you with it, but if you haven't heard out, no. You know what I'm gonna tell you to do again?
Cause I'm not gonna assume that everyone has listened to every single episode. That would be crazy. Years ago when I became a coach, I put out a Facebook ad campaign and some girls that I used to know back then. Back then, back when back when I was about 18, we worked together. We'd go to the bars together on the weekends.
There were three girls they hung out with quite a bit and they became Facebook friends. You know how it is, you reconnect with your old friends on Facebook. That's how we used to use Facebook anyway. Now my Facebook is full of people. I don't even know half the time. And when I posted this ad campaign, one of the girls.[00:05:00]
Decided to share my ad, and I thought, that's so nice, because I got the notification that she had shared it. I thought, wow, that's so nice of her to share it, how supportive, and I went to click on her profile to see what she said about it. And if you've ever been punched in the face before, it felt kind of like that.
I've only been punched once in my life, and it was in the seventh grade by a mean girl in the bathroom. She walked up to me in the bathroom, punched me in the nose, unprovoked. And I just started laughing, which by the way I think was the best response ever cuz she didn't know what to do. I think she thought she was picking a fight with me, but I was, I was this like skinny, timid little thing.
I didn't know how to fight. I just started laughing because it caught me so off guard. I was so shocked. And then she didn't know what to do and she stood there stunned and then she walked away. But it was that, that feeling, you know, when I read these comments on Facebook, it was that same feeling of [00:06:00] getting punched right in the nose without any warning.
What they were saying is, are things like, how dare she and they, they all chimed in all these girls from my past who I thought were just old friends from my past, but apparently they held some grudge against me for a very, very long time. And the comments were things like, how dare she, who would ever coach with her?
What does she know about coaching anyone? And then they started attacking my Facebook page and making up lies, posting nasty reviews, pretending they had been clients and this went on for two days and then they moved on. I'm guessing they found someone else to bully. They moved on and I had, I blocked them all.
I kept blocking these fake accounts they were setting up and. For two days. It was awful. And I felt like my stomach was a knots the whole time. And I said to my coach back then, I said to my coach, I said, if this is what it means to be visible, to put myself out there, then I don't [00:07:00] want it. And he said to me something I'll never forget, he said, Terry, you wanna be like the next Tony Robbins.
How many people do you think hate him? He wakes up knowing that millions of people would love to see him fail. And he keeps going because he has millions more who need him, and he knows he does good work, and that's who he focuses on. You have three girls who hate you, and if you can't handle it at this level, you can't handle it at that level.
And then he said, this is a lesson in resilience. Well, I think with any lesson we get tested and I've been tested since then. And this was a big test. I'm used to getting like two to 300 views on my videos, on average, on TikTok, other than the ones I shared with you. You know, some the odd one takes off, but they've never had anything to do with my business or what I do professionally.
They've just been me, uh, making some goofy video about something and it takes off. I get a [00:08:00] bunch of followers who probably shouldn't follow me from those videos because it's not my usual content. But this time, this video is directly about what I do. And it took off 2.4 million views to date. Over 5,000 comments.
I, I lost track of how many shares and how like it is. It is crazy. And then the next, I did two follow up videos to it and they're like 180,000 I think, something like that. And the, the next one. I think 70 something thousand and, and all my video, you know, well, a handful of videos leading up to those videos also got a huge bump and they're now in the thousands and it's, it's been amazing until I read the comments and there were some nasty comments, really rude comments.
To a point where last week I had to stop reading them. And I'm someone who, I like to engage with followers on social media. I like to reply to [00:09:00] people and I had to stop engaging and reading them because I was worried that it would get into my head that no matter how much I protect my mindset, that some of that would get through somehow.
So I stopped reading them until the last day or so, and then I felt like I had enough of a buffer where I could look at them again and, and now it's just funny to me. And I'm sharing this with you because I want you to know that people are going to be mean when you put yourself out there. There's going to be some nasty people.
Some mean people who have nothing better to do than to look for people who are doing cool things to try to hurt and to pull down. And you need to remember that there's 8 billion people on the planet now, 8 billion. They're just not your people. You're not for them. They're not for you, and that's okay. So how do we deal with the trolls?
Well, you can ignore them. I mean, it's engagement algorithms like engagement. So you can just ignore their comments and leave them there, not reply, not engage as my best friend always says, he [00:10:00] says, don't engage the trolls, or, actually, no. What he says is, don't feed the trolls, Teri, don't feed them. If you start engaging with them, you can get yourself in a whole bunch of issues and it's not worth the energy or the time.
So you could just leave them there and ignore them. You can respond if you want, if you think it's gonna make you feel better and help, you can respond, but you know that that is a way to deal with them probably best. So to just ignore them, you can also delete their comments. There's nothing that says that you have to keep their comments up when people are being nasty to you.
You do not need to indulge that. So if it would make you feel better to delete them, delete them. I deleted one comment just because I really didn't like it and I thought, you know, Screw you. I'm deleting your comment. I only deleted one though, which kind of surprises me. I thought I would wanna delete a lot more, but, uh, there's honestly too many.
There's too many. It's not worth my time to go through deleting. But you know what? There are far more comments [00:11:00] that people engaging and interested in what I'm doing, and that's what makes all the difference. So you can ignore the trolls. You can reply to the trolls if you want, although I don't think that's the best way to do it.
You can delete them, you can block them. But at the end of the day, what's most important is that you protect you. I remember when I was in theater, there was a rule that you never read the reviews, you don't do it because it can affect your performance. So you never read reviews. And that's how I kind of feel about these comments is that if the comments are gonna make you feel bad, stop reading them.
Don't read them, ignore them. Ignore it is not worth it. It's not worth risking taking you outta the game because you have something to share. You have something to say. You're important and you matter. And someone does not get the right to pull you down, to cut you back, to shut you up. [00:12:00] And to make you be small.
No one has that right to do that. And if you allow them to do that to you, if you allow them to shut you up and put you in a box and you stop doing what you are here to do because they make you feel bad, then you are giving them all the power over you and over your future. They do not deserve that kind of power.
So what I learned about myself this time around is that I have developed resilience and I'm ready for more. I think back to what Jeff told me, that this is a lesson. This is a lesson in resilience. And going through this, this week, I've realized, I've learned it. I've learned my lesson. I've developed the thicker skin.
I am ready for more, which means I'm ready to play bigger. I'm ready for a bigger game because I can handle the hate now. I couldn't handle it eight years. Man, was that eight years ago too? It'll be eight years ago, I think in [00:13:00] the fall. Yeah, when those girls attacked me online, it'll be eight years this fall.
So here's what I want for you if you're listening to this and, and obviously you're listening, otherwise you wouldn't, you wouldn't be here. So you that I'm speaking to right now, you are listening to this. If you've been avoiding putting yourself out there, being seen online, being heard, sharing your message, sharing your voice, living a big, bold life, if you've been avoiding it because you're afraid that they'll come for you, I want you to hear me and I want you to know this.
They will come for you. They will. That is guaranteed. You cannot make everyone happy. You are not here to make everyone happy. You will never please everybody. And as I once heard Chelsea Handler say on one of her shows, and I'm paraphrasing, this is not a direct quote, but she said something to the [00:14:00] effect of, if you are, if you are here for everybody, then you are vanilla ice cream.
And vanilla ice cream is boring. You're not here to be boring. You're here to be extraordinary. You're here to be like Rocky Road ice cream, salted caramel, chocolate chip ice cream. You are here to be lavender, honey ice cream. You are here to be something special. You are something special, and no one gets to take away your voice or your message.
And it doesn't matter how important they are, how big they are, how scary they are, how mean they are, they do not get to take away your voice and your message. You are here for a reason, and if you have been avoiding being seen, being bold, being big, taking up space because you're afraid of what they will say, they will say it about you anyway.
You just might not hear it. There are people out there who just look for people to cut down and hurt online. [00:15:00] I don't know why they do it. I'm sure there is some. There's some psychologists out there who could tell us why they do it. I don't even care to know why they do it. I just know they're not my people and I want nothing to do with them.
So my challenge to you is, are you ready to be brave? Are you ready to be bold? Are you ready to share your voice with the world? If you are, I'm here for you. And I want, oh my God, I'm about to quote a song. I just realized I wanna see you be brave. Like the song says, I wanna see you be brave. I want that for you.
That's why I'm so passionate about helping people launch their podcasts. That's why I'm passionate about helping people get on stage and share their message. That's why I have the breakthrough to Success eight week program is to help you get over the fears, the doubts, the uncertainties, the the what will they say?
What will they think? Am I good enough? I don't think I'm good enough. All of that. Bullshit part of my language, but all the bullshit in your head that's telling you that [00:16:00] you can't do it, that's what that eight week program is about. That's what the breakthrough to success is, is to get over that BS in your mind that's telling you to sit down and shut up when you are here, to stand up and speak out.
So if you're ready to be bold and be brave, then I invite you to join me for that eight weeks. And I didn't mean for this to become a sales pitch, but my God, I know that program changes lives. I have seen it change people's lives. So if you've been playing small, that's the place you need to be to get over it.
And if you're ready to launch a podcast, I'll be running the next podcast challenge in June. So stay tuned for that. Keep an eye on my social media for it. Listen to the show. I'll be sharing it when it launches, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Do not let them silence you. So I learned this lesson.
It has taken me eight years to get to the place where I don't care about the haters. Now I care deeply about what my clients think of me. I care about what my spouse thinks of me, what my best friend [00:17:00] thinks of me. I care about what the people who are on my side think of me. That's my barometer to know if I'm, you know, if I'm doing good, right?
Cuz they're the people who are gonna tell me if I start to go the wrong way. They keep me in. But I do not care what some troll on the internet says about me. And let me tell you what some of the comments were. Cause you may be wondering, I got comments like, you know, doesn't she know this could have been one 10 minute video?
Why did she break it in three parts? Tons of comments like that. Let's normalize putting things into a one 10 minute video. Uh, first of all, TikTok got rid of the 10 minute video option. That wasn't even an option. Comments like, I'm gonna block her right now. Block me lady. You're not taking anything for my life.
Block me. I didn't know you existed until two seconds ago and I'll forget you exist by next week. So block me. It's fine. Um, someone said crazy how you're talking about communication and you're communicating this in the most irritating way possible. [00:18:00] Then carry on. I don't care what you think of me or my communication, I care about helping people who want to communicate more effectively.
That's who I care. I care about the person who commented and said that this has made their whole relationship make sense. I care about the person who said, I'm sharing this with my boyfriend because I think this is really gonna help us. I care about them. I care about the person who said, oh my God, this makes so much sense to me.
I get it now. I understand how I communicate. Great. I helped someone. That's who I care about. That's who you need to care about is who are you here to serve? Who are you here to help? You are not here to help the trolls. You are not here to convert them to become your followers. They will never become your followers.
They are not worth your energy. You are here only to serve the people who you are here to serve. And that is it. So I hope you like this episode today. I hope you got some value out of it. As always, follow me on Instagram, send me a message, let me know what you thought of this show and let me know if you've had a similar experience too.
If you've been trolled, let's [00:19:00] band together. Let's support each other. And if you like this episode, leave a five star review. If you didn't like this episode, then no. Maybe you like another one, or maybe I'm not for you. So thanks for joining me today. If you did find it useful though, please share it with a friend who you think would find it valuable to have a fantastic day.
Have a great week, and I will be back soon. Bye for now.
