What are you focusing on? This is one of the most important questions you could answer for yourself.
You see, we are motivated by either toward motivators or away from motivators. So what do I mean by that? Well, when you’re motivated toward something, it means that you’re moving towards what you want. And when you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, it means your attention has to be focused on what you don’t want.
This is the problem.
Let's use money as an example. So, someone might say they’re motivated to make more money because they want to buy their dream home and they want to be a millionaire, or whatever. Now, those are pretty much towards motivators. At least they sound that way so far. But what if they say “it’s because I don’t want to be poor.” They’re motivated to make more money because they don’t want to be poor. Or, maybe they say “I want to make more money because I want to have enough to get by” That’s moving away from what they don’t want which is poverty or not having enough.
Whenever someone is talking about what they want or what’s important to them in a certain area of life, (in this example, what's important to them about making more money) and they use the word “don’t”, or any negatives, or if there’s a comparison, that’s a pretty good clue that it’s an away from motivator. And this is where it becomes a problem.
Now, you might be thinking “why is this a problem? They’re still motivated, so what’s the difference? Why does that matter if it’s towards or away?”
Well, if you’re motivated toward something, you will continually be motivated towards it until you get it. It’s powerful. When you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, the further away you get from it, the less motivated you are. As soon as you start moving away from what it is you don’t want, the motivation decreases.
I’ll give you another example. Let’s talk about someone who’s working to release weight. You probably know someone or you’ve heard of someone, (or maybe you are someone) who at some point in the past may have tried out a diet and it worked for a bit and then they lost motivation fell off track and went right back to eating the old way, and following the old habits, until they got motivated to try again and maybe tried a different fad diet or maybe the same one, it doesn’t matter. Then they started going to the gym again, started doing the things that they needed to do, until they started to see some results again, got a little more comfortable, lost their motivation and repeated the cycle all over again.
This is really typical of someone who is motivated away from. In this example they may be motivated away from obesity or away from buying plus-sized clothes. Maybe they’re motivated away from feeling tired and sluggish, or they’re motivated away from what they see in the mirror.
As many of you know, I used to work in the fitness industry. So I know that a lot of personal trainers and people in that industry use away from motivators to try to motivate their clients. And this is no fault on them. They don’t know what they don't know. They think they’re motivating them correctly, but really what’s happening is that they say, things like, “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have high blood pressure”, or “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have a heart attack or cancer,” whatever it is. And they think those are strong motivators, but the second that person starts to feel a little healthier, their blood pressure comes down, their blood sugar normalizes, they can walk up the stairs with ease, they lose the motivation. So it’s not a sustainable motivation. It doesn’t move them forward all the way to the goal.
That’s the problem with away from motivators. And that’s the typical cycle.
In the case of the weight loss, the person will become motivated again when the doctor tells them their blood pressure is too high again. Or when their pants are too tight again. Or when they’re out of breath walking up the stairs again. Whatever it is, and then they’ll have a little freak out about it, they’ll get upset, they’ll get motivated, they’ll start walking, they’ll start eating better, they’ll do the things that they know they need to do until they start to feel better and then they fall off again.
Here's a fun fact: You have ninety thousand thoughts in a day. Ninety thousand! Give or take a few. How many of those do you think are towards what you want and how many are away from? Do you have any idea? Because you’d be surprised at how many people are motivated away from what they don’t want and they don’t even realize that they’re focusing on what they don’t want. Until they work with someone like me and we figure out that’s what’s going on.
And that’s why they’re not reaching their goals.
So, it’s really important to be motivated towards what you do want and not away from what you don't want.
How do you do that? We start by letting go of past negative emotions and limiting decisions during the Personal Breakthrough process.
Imagine how much more productive you and your team will be when all of you are moving toward your goals will laser sharp focus. What would that do for your results?
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Did you know that one third of North Americans are completely dissatisfied in their jobs? Or actually, they’re just completely dissatisfied with their lives in general? One Third of North Americans. Think about this.Maybe you’re dissatisfied right now. And the reason this bothers me is because I think about how many lives get wasted because people aren’t living to their full potential, and how many dreams fall by the wayside because people are afraid to accomplish it, afraid to go after it or they just don’t think it’s possible. That’s not true. Anything that you can imagine for your life is absolutely 100% possible.
There’s nothing, nothing, that you can’t do if it’s what you really want. And you put in the work and effort into doing it. I mean do you think when the Wright brothers invented the plane that everyone was on board with them and thought “Oh yeah that will be easy! That’s possible! Why couldn’t we fly?” No. They were faced with a ton of resistance. But they did it anyway. And Walt Disney was rejected 302 times before anyone would give him financing for Disneyland. He didn’t give up because he knew it was possible.
These are examples of proof that whatever you can think of and imagine, you can absolutely accomplish. Because that’s the only way anything ever happens on this planet. Do you get that? That’s the only way anything ever happens, is created, or invented. Movements happen because somebody believes it is possible. Whatever dream you’re holding on to in your head, thinking “I could never do it. It won’t work out. I’m not good enough. It’ll never happen!”, is true until you make that change in your thinking, until you accept that it is absolutely possible. Not only is it possible, but if you have some burning desire with you, some kind of dream or passion (which I’m sure you all do because you’re human) we are here to fulfill it. When you find that burning desire in you and if you don’t go after it, if you don’t fulfill that, you are doing a great disservice to our world. And that may seem a little extreme and it may seem a little dramatic but it’s true. Imagine if Mother Teresa never believed that she could help the sick and the starving. What if she never believed she could make a difference? Or, help just one person? So whatever your special thing is that you really want to do, there’s a reason you want to do it. The reason is because you’re being called to it. Because that’s your piece of this great puzzle of our planet, that is your little piece of contribution. It’s what you’re supposed to be doing to make this world a better place, a more beautiful place, a safer or healthier or more entertaining place… or whatever it is that’s your little piece of the puzzle. You need to honour that. And go for it.
I know there are some of you out there who are thinking “I don’t even know what it is because I’ve never had that burning, excited desire.” Well sometimes I think it’s so squashed down in us as children or sometimes until adulthood, you can’t feel it anymore. That’s why you work with someone like me, a professional coach, who can help you unlock your passion. I’ll help you unbury it.
This is what living an Empowered Life is all about. Stop playing small. Stop selling yourself short. Stop buying into the misguided false belief that you’re not good enough or ready or special enough to do whatever it is you wanna do. In other words, get out of your own way. Get out of the way and let the universe guide you to where you’re supposed to be so you can enjoy a fulfilling life.
It’s not a practice life. You only get one shot at this lifetime. You get one chance to do it. So don’t sell yourself short by not fulfilling your purpose. Those dreams that are stuck deep inside your soul, are a gift. It’s a gift for you to give to the world. And it doesn’t have to be huge. Some people think their dreams are not good enough if they don’t see them as “big enough”. It is really important to just recognize that any dream you have, whatever it is, that’s where your happiness lies, that’s what you need to pursue. For some that dream might be to be the best little league coach. And for others it might be to help kids who are struggling with reading or who have a learning disability. Others may dream be to be a world renowned opera singer. Whatever your dream is, whatever it is you want, it is absolutely possible to achieve it. You just have to believe you can and then go for it You have to actually do something about it.
Tonight, when you’re writing in your journal the things you are grateful for, take a little bit of extra time and write down your big, crazy, audacious dreams.. Write down what you want. And if you’re not sure of the details of your passion and dream, think about what it would be if you had one. I know some of you out there are going to say you don’t have any dreams. Well, if you did have a dream, what would it be? Start with writing that one down.
Are you ready to live the Empowered Life? Click here to book your complimentary 30 minute consultation
Are you playing BIG or are you playing small? Are you playing to win? Or are you just playing to not lose?
There is a difference.
People who play to win play 100% full out. They take risks. They are focused and clear on what they want and they do not give up. People playing not to lose, play small. They play just enough so they don’t finish last. They don’t take risks, they play safe. They play a small game.
So ask yourself, “Am I playing big or am I playing small? Am I playing to win or am I playing to not lose?”
When I was in theatre school, my mentor and head of our program, Tim Ryan, would always give us the direction “Make it BIG! Make it Funny!”. And it worked! When I catch myself playing a smaller game or being afraid of going forward, I tell myself “Make it Big!”, “Go full out!” “Jump in 100%!” and I’ll tell you this has never failed me. I have learnt some lessons along the way but I have never failed.
I used to play small and safe. I was afraid to stick my neck out or jump into the deep end of the pool which didn’t get me very far. When I decided to commit to a big game, everything started to change. I’ve seen this in my clients as well. When they go for it 100%, they don’t fail! They don’t lose! They might get slapped around once in a while or served a big lesson but in the end, they always win. You will always come out a winner if you play a winning game. The only time you will fail is if you play to not lose. Playing to not lose will not get you to where you want to be.
So why do we play small and what keeps us playing small?
Many people think they are afraid of failure. They think this is what’s holding them back but more often than not it’s a fear of success. I’ve had this fear and I still come up against it from time to time. It’s easier to deal with now, but I still have work to do. Even just last week it came up again and I thought “Uh-oh! I know what this is about…” but now I have the self awareness and the tools to stop it in its tracks.
What is it about success that we’re afraid of?
A few things:
1. We’re afraid of change. Playing big, playing to win means that something has to change. It means that you will have to change and once you are successful, it’s proof of change. This can be scary.
2. Not feeling that you’re good enough or deserving of success. This is the part that I’ve struggled with. When something comes easily to us, when you’re naturally good at it, we feel that it means we don’t deserve to be successful because we didn’t struggle enough for it. It wasn’t hard enough. Guess what? It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. You have to put in the work, but the work can be fun, the process can be enjoyable!
3. We’re afraid the reward won’t be worth the effort. If we go for it 100%, we’ll end up disappointed and somehow we’ll be cheated in the end so maybe it’s better to not try at all?
4. We’re afraid we’ll be a “sell-out” or that others will perceive us as a “sell-out”.
5. We’re afraid of the sacrifices we might have to make. On the road to success, you will have to make some sacrifices. Maybe it’s leaving some friends behind, maybe it’s giving up certain behaviors or activities to ensure you’ll be successful.
What’s more important than knowing why we’re afraid of success is knowing how to overcome it. How can you get out of your own way so that you can have the success that you deserve? Because you absolutely do deserve to have all the success you want in life! How do you start to play a big game that you want to play?
1. The first thing is to change your mindset and to develop a positive way of thinking. If you’ve been listening to my podcast or reading my blogs, you’ll know this is the foundation of getting what you want in life. How do you this? Listen to positive things, read positive books, make sure that everything that is going into your mind has a positive message. You may want to listen to a positive podcast such as The Empowered Life? Also, The Charged Life with Brendon Burchard is amazing and if you like mine, then I’m sure you will also love Brendon’s. Read positive books; books by Brendon Burchard, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer. This is how you begin to change your thoughts. Feed your mind with positive thoughts.
2. Think about how you’ve been successful in the past and make yourself a library of success. You can write this in a journal, put in on your wall and you can even do this as a visualization process. I recommend writing it down though. Write down every success you can remember. Go all the way back to childhood. Successful moments do not always have to be mind-blowing moments . Think about the day you learned to tie your shoes. This might not feel like a big deal today, but the day you mastered it, it was a big deal to the little person you once were! Think about the day you learned to ride a bike. Maybe think about getting a part in the school play? Learning to drive, swim, or even playing an instrument. Think about anything you have been successful at learning or finishing. Graduating from high school, graduating from college, improving your grades, passing an exam, getting a job, a promotion, your first house! Any success in your life goes into the library. Write it all down- awards, wins, recognition. I think you get the idea. Go all the way back as far as you can remember.
Think about how you felt when you had these moments of success and know that you were absolutely deserving of this success! And while you're remembering these past proofs of success and remembering how great it felt, know that this is also proof that you can be successful again in any area of your life you choose because you know how to be successful! There are so many other things that you can be successful at including whatever it is that you’re facing right now but feel too afraid to do. Because you’ve been successful before and because you know what success looks and feels like, you can do it again, and again, and again. You are that powerful! Own that power.
3. Gratitude is another way to get over a fear of success. Being grateful for what you have in your life right now. Go back to that gratitude journal we’ve talked about and make sure you’re keeping it up. Practice gratitude daily. Everyday find a minimum of 3 things you are grateful for.
4. Also, look at your fear of success as a warning. Ask yourself ”What am I afraid of having success in?” Is what you really want in life? Now, I’m not saying this is a way to validate this fear, because most of the time this fear is irrational. But use it as a check in to “Is this really what I want? What is this worth to me? How would I feel if I never accomplished it?” And pay close attention to your answers.
5. And lastly, my favourite way of overcoming this fear… FAKE IT! You’ve heard it before. “Fake it, ’til you make it”. If you want to play a bigger game but you're scared inside, there is nothing wrong with faking it for a bit until you no longer feel the fear. Pretend to be the person you want to become and eventually, you’ll become that person. Imagine yourself playing a big game. When you play big, how will you dress? What will do each day? Who will hang around? How will you eat? And then start doing those things now. Become the person you want to be and maybe you’ll find that it’s not so scary after all?
I hope you’ve found this useful, please share on your social media to help others and please leave a comment below. If you’d like to hear the audio version of this blog, go to http://apple.co/1KUIWEM
If you’ve been reading my blogs and listening to my podcasts, you’ve probably realized that I’m a big fan of thinking positively. So this topic might come as a surprise to you, but there comes a time when positive thinking goes too far. Yes, it is possible, and I’m going to tell you why. Now, I might get some heat for this, and some people may disagree but I’m okay with that.
So here’s the thing, positive thinking is wonderful thing, and it changes lives; I’ve changed my life when I began to change my thinking. However, if you take it to the extreme where you begin to use positive thinking as a way to ignore areas of your life or as a way to suppress your true feelings, that’s when it begins to get into the negative side. This is the negative side of positive thinking.
I see this often in other people in my profession who are such strong advocates of positive thinking that they forget that sometimes we don’t FEEL positive. So if you’re thinking positive things but you’re feeling something totally different, you can’t use that mindset to suppress your feelings. You have to allow those feelings to express themselves and come up. Does that make sense?
I’ll give you an example from my own recent experience. If you’ve been following my podcast, you’ll know that I recently lost my father, and quite a few emotions came with that loss and I imagine they’re going to be coming up for some time. While I can appreciate the gifts I have found in his passing (and there have been gifts) such as; reconnecting with distant relatives, getting to know my Dad’s friends, new stories I’m hearing about my Dad, new things I’m learning about myself and my family. While I can appreciate these gifts, it would be very naive of me to think that positive thinking would override all of the ugly, awful, deep emotions that I’ve been feeling.
I’m telling you this because I see this as a bit of a trap that people sometimes fall in to. We start to think that if we practice positive thinking, we can’t have a negative emotion. We start to feel that it’s not okay to feel sad, angry or upset. Here’s the thing though, none of our emotions are really negative at all.
I recently read “Dying to Be Me” by Anita Moorjani. It’s a wonderful book for anyone experiencing loss, going through cancer, or with a loved one going through it. It is a wonderful read and has helped me to get through the past few weeks since my Father’s passing. Anita gives great insight into what happens when we die and the afterlife. One of the things she wrote that really resonated with me is that all of our emotions come from love. If you imagine that pure, unconditional love is a white light, and it shines through a prism that represents our humanness, our 5 senses, how we view and interact in our physical world. When that white, beautiful light comes through the prism, it is fragmented into all of the colours of the rainbow, a full spectrum of colour. These colours represent our emotions, and each one is associated with a different emotion. Now how can any of them be “bad” when they originate as pure love? These emotions are so can experience a full spectrum of human experiences which allows us to learn and grow.
None of our emotions are really “bad”. They are all valid.
We often talk about depression, anger, sadness as being negative feelings and we talk about happiness, joy, love as being positive. In reality, they are all from the same source. When we focus too much on positive thinking and what we perceive as positive emotions, we are cutting out half of our colour spectrum, ignoring half of the rainbow. When you ignore half of the rainbow, you miss out on a whole world of learning with opportunities to grow. Trust me, it would be very tempting for me to ignore how I’m feeling about losing my Dad. At times it would be easier to stuff it all down and just put on a happy, bright face and paint my world with only joy and happiness. When we do that though, we create a lot of tension and stress in the body. We can create disease in the body by holding down our “negative” emotions and never fully expressing them. We can create a whole myriad of problems for our physical body by doing that. Emotions, ALL emotions, have to be allowed to come up and through to go out of the body.
In fact, I am quite certain the reason I struggled with ulcerative colitis for most of my life is because I was holding on to fear in my body. When I started to release that fear, my body healed itself.
It is incredibly important that we don’t use positive thinking to ignore our emotions under the surface. Recently, I was discussing this with a friend of mine. For years she had practiced positive thinking and gratitude but ignored how she was feeling inside. She was convinced that if she said her affirmations, practiced gratitude daily, that eventually her life would start to change. Nothing did change until she finally started to deal with what she was feeling internally. That’s when her life started to change.
Now don’t misunderstand me here, it is important to think positively and practice gratitude. I work on these things every day. But you have to do them while allowing yourself to feel whatever you need to feel and to do the work to allow those emotions to move through you in a healthy, constructive way without becoming attached to them.
It’s okay to have a bad day and acknowledge that you’re having it. What’s not okay is to attach yourself to the feelings, hold onto them and store them away where they can fester like a bad untreated wound. Emotions need to be in-motion. They need to be allowed to flow through and move on. Let them flow.
I think it’s a little bit naive when people say “if you’re feeling sad, practice gratitude”. Yes, practicing gratitude will help to shift your perspective, but you can’t ignore why you’re feeling sad in the first place. All of our feelings are here to have us take a look at something that needs our attention. Don’t be afraid to take a look and explore what needs to change in your life to let that feeling move on in a healthy way. Make them move on! For some, this requires movement- go for a run, workout, do yoga, go hiking. Find whatever works for you. For me, it’s lifting heavy weights. Some people need to scream into a pillow or cry it out to a sad movie. Do whatever you need to do to let it out as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others.
How do you release your emotions? Please share below in the comments.
If you'd like to listen to the podcast version of this blog, click the link here: http://apple.co/1MNLimF
The Power Hour is a technique created by Speaker Azim Jamal, to start your day on the right track! Listen to my latest podcast (episode 12) here to get the full scoop on what the power hour is and how to do it. If it's not on there yet (iTunes takes a little while) then hit the subscribe button to get the latest podcasts instantly.
Here's the workout I promised:
5 minutes of jumping rope or jumping jacks to warm up. You can alternate with marching on the spot. (1 min jacks or jump rope/ 1 min marching etc)
Timed (5 minutes) As many cycles through as possible
8 squat jumps
15 bicycle crunches
Rest 1 min at the end.
Timed (5 minutes) As many cycles through as possible
8 lateral lunges (4/side)
8 dips (on a bench)
16 mountain climbers (16/side)
Cool Down & Stretch (5-10 min)
This is from the Vacation Guide. If you want a complimentary copy, fill out the info below and I will email you one.
I spent last weekend at the most incredible 3 day event for entrepreneurs called Business Excellence with Make Your Mark Training and Consulting. I have now completed all of the Make Your Mark training seminars (and they vital for anyone serious about growth!) and I return each year for this powerhouse event.
This 3 day event is filled with some of the most inspirational, driven, motivated and successful speakers with so much knowledge and wisdom to share that by day 3 I was sure my brain was going to explode! The Sunday after the event I was so jacked up I didn't know what to implement first into my business. So, I decided to start a podcast! If you'd like to hang out with me for a few minutes each day, then click the link below to subscribe.
I was also so lucky to get to meet some of the incredible speakers at the event. Here are some of my pictures.
And I was super lucky to get to share the experience with this amazing lady, one of my dearest friends, Sheila Sutherland- Life Coach. The picture is a little blurry because we were testing out my new selfie stick, but I still love it!
If you're a serious entrepreneur, you need to attend Business Excellence in 2016! I'm already looking forward to it!
Hear more about this event on my new podcast! If you like what you hear, leave me a 5 star review and then let me know on my twitter page at @terihcoaching and I'll give you a free 60 coaching session with me!
You know that person who always seems to have bad luck? You know, that person. Their car breaks down so they can't get to work and because they can't get to work they lost their, so they can't pay for car repairs and now they have broken a tooth but lost their benefits when they lost their job and they can't their rent so now they're going to be homeless... etc, etc. You know this person, we all know this person. We're going to call him Mr. Gloom.
And then there's that other person who always seems to get exactly what they want. They want a promotion, they get it. They want more money, it just seems to show up. They always seem to have the car they want, the house, the friends, the career and everything seems to just flow for them. You would think they were born with a horse shoe stapled to their forehead. Do you know this person? We'll call her Ms. Sunshine.
So what's the difference between the two? It's the 6 inches between their ears that makes the difference.
Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? You might have some knowledge of it, or maybe you're an expert in it. If you don't know much about it, I'm going to give you a brief introduction to help you get on the right track towards getting what you want in life. Sound good?
So what is the law of attraction or LOA as I'll refer to it (because I'm feeling lazy)?
Well, first of all, it's a law. Just like the law of gravity. You don't have to believe in it, but it's still going to be working anyway. Like the law of gravity, you could challenge it, you could jump off a building but you're not going to fly, you'll fall and it's probably going to hurt. The LOA works in they same way. You could challenge it, but you probably won't like the outcome.
So how does it work?
Well, simply put, what you put out is what you get back. Imagine you have a radio antenna coming out of the top of your head that sends signals out into the universe. Whatever you're thinking about, focusing on or doing sends a signal out the universe that you want more of it and the universe sends you more without bias.
If you are in debt and drowning in it and all you can think about is "I must get out of debt, oh my God I'm drowning in debt, I can't stand it, I need to pay off this debt... debt, debt, debt..." what are you focusing on? Debt! What are you going to get more of? Debt! This is how our Mr. Gloom thinks. Now what if you could change your thinking to focus on abundance and trusting that an abundance of wealth is coming to you? How do you think things would start to change? This is how our Ms. Sunshine thinks. Always focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.
As mentioned before, you don't have to believe in the LOA, but it's always going to be working anyway. Wouldn't it be great to use it in your favour?
Here are three basic fundamentals of LOA to help get you started. There's more to it than this, but these three principals will get you off on the right track.
There you have it. 3 things you can start doing to get more of what you want int life. Be specific, focus and take action.
Sometimes it's hard though to see your own bad habits, thoughts and beliefs. This is where coaching comes in. Imagine how much more successful you could be if you had someone outside of yourself, calling you out on all the stuff you're doing that's no longer serving a purpose in getting you what you want in life. You might find you'd be unstoppable.
Have you ever wished you were motivated to do something that you knew should be doing? And you knew it would be good for you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it? We’ve all had this experience, and we’re all continually having this experience. How many of you have felt that if you could just motivate yourself to do this one thing, your life would change?
I have a confession to make. I was not feeling very motivated to write this blog post today. I just didn’t feel like. When I told my husband, he said “Great! Then you can me clean the kitchen”. Suddenly I was very motivated to write.
Why am I telling you this?
Because this the first secret behind motivation. You will always do what you would rather do than not do. You are always motivated. Each choice you make, each action you make is always motivated by a desire to do exactly what you want to do.
Here’s the second secret. Motivation comes from within. You cannot motivate someone to do something that they don’t want to do. You also, cannot be motivated by an someone else. You can be inspired and you can inspire others but you cannot motivate them and they cannot motivate you.
They problem is that we are not always motivated to do what’s good for us. Often we’re motivated to do the exact opposite of what we know we should do. Motivation can be either positive or negative. It can be a healthy behaviour helping us to be successful, or it can be unhealthy and destructive and it’s important to know the difference.
How does this relate to business? Everyday as entrepreneurs, we are responsible for setting our own goals and making sure we do what we need to do to keep our businesses running and growing. It’s important that we understand how to motivate ourselves in a positive way to ensure that we are continually engaged in our business and too keep in moving forward in the direction that we want.
Today, when I didn’t feel like writing, it wasn’t that I unmotivated. Or lacking motivation. It was that I was MORE motivated to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. However, when my husband took that option away from me, I was suddenly motivated to get writing because that was more interesting to me than doing dishes.
So how then, do we begin to change? How do we get up off the couch and begin to tackle that sometimes daunting to do list? How do we shift our habits from what is unproductive or even destructive behaviour toward what is healthy and positive and moving us towards the life we want?
This is the third secret to getting motivated. Change happens when the benefit of the new behaviour outweighs the comfort of staying the same. This is when big shifts happen.
Every action you take comes down to a basic motivation to make you feel good. If you want to be positively motivated, you have to convince yourself that whatever change you make is going to make you feel good. Then, you have to evaluate the benefits of change and convince yourself the benefits outweigh the price you have to pay for them. And with any change, there will always be sacrifices you’ll have to make.
You cannot motivate yourself through guilt, feeling like you “should”, “need” or “must” do something. You can only motivate yourself through a “profit/loss” comparison. You've unknowingly been doing this your whole life, but now it’s about making this process work for you instead of against you.
I always hear about this magical place called “work and life balance”. I hear it’s a beautiful place filled with spare time, fun and laughter with friends and quality time with family. It’s a place where you can have hobbies and socialize and where work still gets done and all your goals can still be reached. It’s a place where you’re home for dinner with the family and weekends are free and you can take a holiday whenever you want or even just an extra day off. You can turn off your cell phone and people will understand when you don’t respond to their emails right away. It’s a beautiful place but to me it sounds a little like Neverland.
I’ve been struggling with finding this balance. I’ve alway’s thought of it as a predetermined destination like what I described above. A perfectly balanced place that I could just plunk my life into and it would be perfect! I’ve learnt that’s not quite the case. Here are 5 things I’ve learnt about work/life balance:
Work and life balance is going to change and shift over time depending on where you are in life but I think that the most important thing is to learn to be self aware and recognize what does and doesn't work for you and then honour that regardless of what you think it “should” look like. Neverland maybe an imaginary land but your work/life balance is very real and you can create it to be whatever you need to be.
Peak Performance Coach. I believe in playing big, going after your dreams and never settling for less than your absolute best.
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