Decoding Resistance: Why It Shows Up and What to Do About It
Oct 2
4 min read
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We’ve all felt it; that sudden urge to clean out the junk drawer when you’re supposed to be working on your next big project. Or the “I’ll just check the fridge” moment right before tackling something that really matters. That feeling has a name: resistance.
Too often, we label resistance as laziness, procrastination, or lack of discipline. But here’s the truth: resistance is not your enemy. It’s a message. And when you learn how to decode it, you can turn it into a powerful guide instead of a roadblock.
[Hey... before you read further, here's the link to the podcast version of this if you prefer to listen instead of read – Listen to it here]
What Is Resistance and Why Does It Happen?
Resistance shows up as procrastination, perfectionism, distraction, avoidance, or overwhelm. It’s that internal pushback you feel when you’re about to do something meaningful, something that stretches you outside your comfort zone.
Here’s the twist: resistance isn’t trying to stop you. It’s trying to protect you.
Your unconscious mind’s job is to keep you safe, and safety often looks like doing what’s familiar.
That’s why resistance tends to appear right before you launch the podcast, start the YouTube channel, or commit to a big income goal. It’s your brain flashing a “DANGER—STAY SAFE” signal.
The Three Core Messages of Resistance
1. “This Matters to Me”
We don’t resist things that are irrelevant. If you’re avoiding something, it likely matters deeply. Ask yourself:
What would it mean if I actually followed through on this?
Often, the more important the task is for your business or personal growth, the stronger the resistance.
2. “I’m Afraid of What This Could Change”
Many people aren’t afraid of failure—they’re afraid of success. This is where fear of success and identity shifts come into play.
You might wonder:
What if this works?
What if people notice?
Can I keep up with the expectations?
These questions reveal a deeper unconscious fear of stepping into a bigger version of yourself. Challenge this by asking:
What might success cost me?And then—is that belief actually true?
3. “I Don’t Feel Safe to Move Forward”
Sometimes resistance is a wisdom signal, telling you that you’re burned out, overextended, or lacking structure and support.
Instead of pushing harder, ask yourself:
What do I need to feel supported in taking the next step?
Often, the simple act of creating boundaries, seeking support, or resting can dissolve resistance.
A Three-Step Process for Overcoming Resistance
Once you’ve decoded the message, here’s how to move forward:
Notice resistance without judgment. Instead of saying “Why can’t I just do this?” shift to: “Interesting, something important is happening here.”
Get curious, not critical. Ask: What am I avoiding? What’s the payoff in not doing it? There’s always a hidden payoff, even if it’s avoiding effort or judgment.
Take one aligned micro-action. Don’t do it all at once. Just send the email, outline the idea, or brainstorm titles. Small steps build momentum and re-train your nervous system to feel safe moving forward.
When Resistance Means Pivot, Not Push
Not all resistance should be bulldozed through. Sometimes it’s a sign of misalignment rather than growth.
Here’s how to tell the difference:
Before a breakthrough: resistance feels like fear of failure or being seen.
In misalignment: resistance feels heavy, draining, or resentful.
Ask yourself:
Is this aligned with my values and vision?
Am I doing this for approval, obligation, or ego?
Do I feel dread more than fear?
If no one would be disappointed, would I still choose this?
Your body also gives clues. Chronic exhaustion, tension, and burnout often point to misalignment.
A Mindfulness Exercise to Work Through Resistance
Take a deep breath in…and exhale slowly.
Bring to mind something you’ve been resisting. Without judgment, ask:
What might this resistance be trying to show me?
What do I need in order to move forward with ease?
Allow the answer to come.
Remember: you are safe to succeed, and resistance is not your enemy—it’s your guide.
Final Thoughts on Resistance and Mindset Blocks
The next time resistance shows up, pause before labeling yourself as lazy or unmotivated. Instead, see it for what it really is—a message about what matters, what you fear, or what support you need.
By decoding resistance and taking aligned micro-actions, you can break free from procrastination, overcome mindset blocks, and move toward the success you truly want.
✨ Your turn: What message did you discover in your own resistance? Share it in the comments or tag me on Instagram @theteriholland.
❓ Frequently Asked Questions About Resistance and Procrastination
1. What is resistance in personal growth?
Resistance is the internal pushback you feel when trying to do something meaningful. It often shows up as procrastination, avoidance, distraction, or perfectionism. Rather than being laziness, it’s usually a signal from your unconscious mind trying to keep you safe.
2. How do I know if my procrastination is resistance?
If you notice yourself avoiding a task that actually matters to your growth—like launching a project, starting a podcast, or showing up online—it’s likely resistance, not simple procrastination.
3. What’s the difference between fear of failure and fear of success?
Fear of failure is worrying that things won’t work out, while fear of success is worrying about what happens if they do—increased expectations, visibility, or change. Resistance often masks fear of success.
4. How can I overcome resistance when it feels overwhelming?
Start small. Take one aligned micro-action, like outlining an idea, sending an email, or naming your project. Small steps build momentum and retrain your nervous system to feel safe moving forward.
7. What role does mindset play in overcoming resistance?
Mindset is everything. By shifting from judgment (“Why can’t I just do this?”) to curiosity (“What’s this resistance trying to show me?”), you transform resistance into guidance instead of a roadblock.
