Teri Holland [00:00:00]:
If you have ever felt like you're not good enough or you're not worthy, if you've ever doubted yourself or doubted your ability to achieve what you want in life, well, this episode is for you. Keep listening. You're listening to Success in Mind with Teri Holland, the show for high performing entrepreneurs, leaders and changemakers ready to take your life and your business to the next level. If you're ready for whole life success, keep listening. Today we're going to dive into limiting decisions. What is a limiting decision? Well, some people call them limiting beliefs. These are beliefs that we carry, that hold us back, that keep us small, that stop us from doing the things we want in life. Doubts.
Teri Holland [00:00:51]:
Any doubt you've ever had is a limiting decision. Now some people call these limiting beliefs. In NLP we say they are limiting decisions. And here's why because a limiting decision is far more powerful than a limiting belief. Saying something is a limiting belief or that you just believe it is very passive. Whereas a decision is active. If you decided something, you can certainly undecide it. But if you never decided it, if it's just a belief, well, where did that belief come from? How did you come to believe it? If you didn't choose it? You can't unchew it.
Teri Holland [00:01:33]:
So we say limiting decision, a decision you decided on. And think about that. I mean it really makes logical sense. How could you believe something if you didn't decide it was true? Now, many of our limiting decisions were formed at a time in our lives where that was the best option at the time, or when we didn't have the resources to not decide it, to make a different decision for ourselves. Now, some of these limiting decisions would come from childhood, sometimes very early in childhood, where you didn't have the capacity or the understanding of life to make a different decision. So you chose what seemed like the best option at the time or what made the most sense. You could have also made a limiting decision yesterday, you could have made one five minutes ago, you could be making one right now. Limiting decisions at the time make sense to us, but then later in life they limit us, they hold us back and they're no longer helpful or useful to us.
Teri Holland [00:02:40]:
Now, often when I work with clients and we're working on their limiting decisions, they'll say to me well, I didn't decide it, Teri, it just happened to me or I didn't decide it, my parents put this on me. How can you believe something unless you decided it? Unless you decided it was true? Now, I know there are going to be some of you listening to this who are going to be disagreeing with me right now and saying no, I would never decide to believe these things. I would never decide that I'm not good enough. But I have that belief because it was put upon me by someone else or I would never decide that I'm not worthy of success. I would never choose it. Someone chose it for me. How can you believe it if you didn't decide it was true? And in that moment that you decided it, you probably didn't have other tools and resources to reject it, to say no, that's not true. Maybe you didn't have the experience of life that you now have where you can say well I know logically that's not true, but yet I still feel this way.
Teri Holland [00:03:46]:
That's because it's a limiting decision. Now, our limiting decisions are unconscious. These are the programs that run in the back of our mind unconsciously until we become aware of them. So even though consciously you might know, well that's not true, unconsciously you might still have a sense that you believe that. Now our limiting decisions, as I said, they can come from childhood, they can come from any time in life. They could have been, you could have made one right now. They can also come from in the womb. Your limiting decisions could be formed from a past life experience or passed on to you genealogically.
Teri Holland [00:04:22]:
So let's talk about past lives because this is always fascinating and when I talk with clients about this, some of my clients are very excited about the idea of past lives and some of them are like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about? Your unconscious mind is very symbolic. So when I talk about past lives, if you don't believe in past lives, that's completely fine. Your unconscious mind might though. So I'm going to encourage you just to keep an open enough mind to recognize that the unconscious mind is very symbolic. And what if your unconscious mind chooses a past life to represent how something is held in your nervous system? Now, genealogy is a little bit easier to comprehend. So genealogy is what's passed down to us through generations. Now, science has proven this, science has proven it through epigenetics that we carry within us, within our DNA, we carry within us memory of our ancestors and they've proven that up to ten generations back. Now, in hypnosis we say it goes back way further than that, but science has proven it to ten generations.
Teri Holland [00:05:28]:
So it isn't too much of a stretch to think, well, it could go back even further than that. So you might be carrying in you memory, in your DNA, in your cells that's holding limiting decisions that was made by an ancestor that has been passed on to you. Now, that might sound like you didn't decide it, but if you could go back in your memory to the point where that person decided it because that's your memory, you're the one holding the memory now. So if you can go back to that memory and decide something different, you can undo that decision, you can decide something new for yourself and make new decisions going forward. So even if it was something passed on to you, it is still your decision. You're carrying the point of decision. And if it was in a past to life, well, that was you in another incarnation at another point in time, making a decision that's impacting you now in this life. Now, let's talk about the womb because often people say to me, how could I make a limiting decision in the womb? Well, we don't know.
Teri Holland [00:06:36]:
We really don't know. But again, the unconscious mind is highly symbolic. So if you made a decision that was in the womb and it's impacting you now, and you undo that decision and you start getting different results in your life, does it matter if that was real or not real? Does it matter if that symbol is a past life and maybe you don't believe in past lives, but that's what comes up for you. And does it matter? Does it matter? If you change that decision from a point of view of a past life and it changes, the results you get now and in the future doesn't matter because I can't prove to you I can't prove to you that past lives exist. Although I've had some crazy client experiences and some pretty cool experiences of my own in exploring past lives and doing past life regression work, But I can't prove to you it's real, just like I can't prove to you that a decision you made in the womb actually happened in the womb. I can't prove to you that a decision you made five minutes ago was real either. But we're results based. So all I care about is that my clients get the results that they want to get.
Teri Holland [00:07:45]:
So let's talk about how these decisions impact us. There was a time in my life where I was rejecting money. I was having a really hard time making money. No matter what I did to make money, things kept happening around me where I would lose the money quickly or I'd lose my job, or I'd start to get financially on my feet and then I'd get sick and I'd have to take time off. There was always this stuff around money and I could never hold on to money. I could never seem to make enough money or more than enough money. Money was not easy for me. And then I did some work through timeline therapy, through hypnosis and found that I had a lot of limiting decisions about money.
Teri Holland [00:08:34]:
Limiting decisions like I'm not worthy of money, that money is evil, that money is dirty, that money makes people greedy. Whoa. Think about this. As long as I was carrying those decisions about money and it's important to understand the unconscious mind is the goal. Getter your conscious mind might set the goal. You consciously decide what you want, but it's your unconscious mind that goes to pursue the goal. And your unconscious mind wants to protect you in fact, the most important job of your unconscious mind is to protect you and keep you safe. So if my unconscious mind was telling me that money was evil, it was dirty, it made people greedy, why on earth would it allow money to be in my life? So how this played out is in my behavior around money.
Teri Holland [00:09:31]:
And behavior is also unconscious until we become conscious of it. So my behavior around money, I was making decisions. I was doing things. My behavior was not congruent with making money. And so, of course, I never had money. Of course, money seemed to just slip away from me like water through a sieve. I couldn't hold money. I couldn't grow money until I changed my beliefs about money, until I made new decisions and I let go of the old decisions from the past so that they no longer impacted my future.
Teri Holland [00:10:07]:
So what kind of limiting decisions are you carrying around that are impacting you now? Maybe you want to share your message with the world, but maybe you're carrying a belief that your voice is not worthy of being heard, or that you're not important enough to have a message, which you are. Each and every one of you is important enough to have a message and to share your message. And your message should be shared, by the way. But maybe you have beliefs that your voice shouldn't be heard. Maybe you've made beliefs about adopting safe. Maybe you have limiting decisions that it's not safe to speak up or share your voice. I've had a lot of clients have those decisions. So what is it that's been holding you back, that's keeping you small, that's making you stay stuck where you are? Now, when I work with my clients, I use very specific techniques using transfer and hypnosis to guide my clients to a place where they go back to the point of decision and they're able to let go of that decision.
Teri Holland [00:11:13]:
But today, I'm going to use a different technique and I'm going to share this technique with you. I'm going to guide you through an NLP technique to help you challenge your own limiting decisions. Now, before I take you through this process, there's a couple of things that are very important. One, do not do this process while you're driving. Do not do this process while you are doing anything which requires your absolute conscious attention and focus. So if you are currently driving, if you are working out the gym, if you're doing anything where you're in public, or where you should be consciously aware of what's happening, maybe you're taking care of a young child or operating some machinery, then just stop the podcast right here. Pick it up later when you are able to fully relax and to close your eyes. If you're not able to do that right now, then stop listening.
Teri Holland [00:12:09]:
If you are able to do this process right now, then I'm going to give you a moment to get yourself set up. So maybe you might want to dim the lights around you. If you're in a bright room, you might want to get into a more comfortable position. You might want to sit in a more comfortable chair with your feet on the floor. You could even lie down if you prefer. If you want to be more relaxed, just make yourself comfortable. And I'm going to give you a moment to do that while I share something very exciting with you. To succeed in today's business world, you need to be a leader.
Teri Holland [00:12:43]:
And leaders share common characteristics. I've compiled the top ten characteristics of leadership and put them together in a conveniently free ebook for you to download, complete with a self assessment tool so you can assess where you are, where your strengths are as a leader, and which areas need some improvement. So if you want to grab that ebook, it's in the Show Notes. You can get it for free today. We're back and hopefully you were able to find yourself in a really comfortable position again. If you are doing anything which requires your conscious attention, stop the podcast here. You can pick it up at a later time. Now this process that I'm going to take you through is not hypnosis, but it does require an inward look, some inward introspection.
Teri Holland [00:13:32]:
So I'm going to ask for you to close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing so. And if not, I'll ask you to lower your gaze so that you're looking downward and just soften your eyes. Now, bring to mind, and you probably already have one in mind from listening to this episode, but I want you to bring to mind a decision that you made in the past which is limiting you today. Now, again, some people call these limiting beliefs. So this could be, for example, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I can't make money. Or any doubts you have about your goals bring to mind something that's limiting you today that you believe is true, even if the logical part of your mind knows that this isn't true, because it isn't. If deep down you believe it's true, and if it's limiting you, then it's still a part of your unconscious mind. So that's what we're going to work on right now.
Teri Holland [00:14:39]:
I'd like you now trusting your unconscious mind, that part of you that has a record of every moment of your existence. I'd like you now to ask your unconscious mind, when did I decide this? As you think of that limiting decision, ask yourself, when did I decide this? And trust your unconscious mind to come up with an answer. And that answer might be an image, it might be a sound, but it'll give you some sort of reference point for when in time you decided this and just trust your unconscious mind. Now, once you have it, I'd like you to go back in your memory to that point in time when you made the decision, where were you when you were deciding? And just before you decided, where were you then? Go back in your memory to just before you decided this and where were you? Now? As you think about your present situation in life, notice how many options you have now. Good. Now think about that old problem and notice how you feel now as you think about the next time you might have a similar experience knowing what you know. Now, notice how much better you feel not deciding. That good.
Teri Holland [00:16:42]:
Now bring your attention back toward now, coming back into the now, into the present moment and opening your eyes or lifting your gaze. And welcome back. Now, I know that was a short exercise, but if you trusted the process and trusted your unconscious mind, this can be a very powerful process for letting go of a limiting decision. Now, for some of you, that limiting decision is now laughable, it doesn't matter. And you realize now how many more options you have. And for some of you, it might have lessened the power of that limiting decision. So it's not as much of an issue anymore. And for some of you, it might not have changed from this process.
Teri Holland [00:17:29]:
And that would just indicate that there's deeper work to be done which would require one on one work. But I hope you got value out of this process and that you can use this process to challenge those limiting decisions because they're not true. Any limiting decision is not based in truth. It's based on a decision from the past which made sense at that time. But it's no longer the right decision for you today. And today you have so many more resources and awareness and tools at your disposal. So I hope you found this useful. If you did, I'd love to hear your experience.
Teri Holland [00:18:08]:
Feel free to share it with a friend. And as always, I would love a five star review from you if you haven't left one already. Now, if you would like this process in an audio format where you can just isolate this part of it, send me a message on Instagram and I'd be happy to send it to you. I'll put my Instagram link in the show notes as well. Thank you so much for joining me today. I always appreciate that you take time to listen to me. And as always, have a fantastic day. Bye for now.
