teri-holland_full_length nov 14,
===
[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of success in mind, the show where we dive deep into the strategies to help you achieve your highest potential in business and in life. I'm Teri Holland, your mind performance coach. And today we're going to tackle a critical yet often overlooked aspect of entrepreneurial success, setting healthy boundaries.
Let's go.
Setting boundaries in business is one of those things that I see entrepreneurs not doing until they need to do it. And I did this myself. I used to have no real boundaries in business. I was available for my clients at any point that they needed me. I responded to emails immediately. I would respond to [00:01:00] texts at 11 PM at night.
I had no healthy boundaries within my business. Because I felt like if I said no to a client or if I wasn't always available that the client would leave me and not want to work with me. I was coming from a scarcity mentality. As entrepreneurs, we face unique challenges when it comes to setting boundaries, whether it's balancing work and life, dealing with clients or managing a team, the lines often get blurred.
And I remember back when I was in personal training, I let clients reach out to me anytime and I was always available for them. I. I often became really close with my clients, became very friendly with them. And then when it came time to talk about something business related, say their payment didn't go through or they kept missing sessions and there was somewhere where I needed to address something that was affecting my business or talk about money, [00:02:00] uh, it would become very uncomfortable because we hadn't.
established any boundaries. I hadn't established the boundaries. So this became very problematic in my business. And in that business, I ended up burning out severely because I wasn't setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. So let's talk about some steps that you can take to help you set boundaries so that you don't make the same mistakes that I made in my business.
So what are some solutions that we can take? Well, Let's talk about how you can effectively set and maintain boundaries. So here are some strategies that you can begin implementing today to set boundaries. So first of all, there are different types of boundaries within our business, and we need to talk about what those different types of boundaries are before we can talk about how you can actually set those boundaries.
So we have time boundaries. So this involves setting clear boundaries between what is work time and what is personal time. This one took me a [00:03:00] very long time to learn. Um, as I mentioned, I used to be available to my clients. Anytime they sent me a message, I would respond immediately, even if I was out for dinner with my husband, or if I was going to bed, if I was doing my own workout, or at the grocery store, it didn't matter, I would respond.
So now I set really clear time boundaries, and this can involve letting people know when you're available, when you're not available. I no longer respond to an email after 5pm. I won't respond to an email on the weekends. I won't respond on a holiday and I definitely will not respond while I'm on vacation.
So now I set clear boundaries around my time. Another type of boundary we need to be setting are task boundaries. So you need to know like what are the tasks that you are willing to take on? What are the roles that you will take on for clients? What is the limit of what you will accept or what kind of work you will do?
And [00:04:00] This also ensures that you don't get into what's known as scope creep, where you are hired to do one job by a client, and then you start taking on all these other things, which affects your bottom line. Because if you start doing work that's outside of the parameters of what you've agreed to, and you start doing things that maybe aren't even really in your, your field of expertise, that's going to take away from the work that you should be doing for other clients as well.
And so that starts to affect your bottom line negatively. We also need to look at communication boundaries. So what are the norms around communication in your business? How will you communicate? You know, I've already mentioned, like, when will you respond to emails? But also what, what types of channels of communication will you respond to?
So I. I now tell my clients, and this is after learning a very painful lesson in communication boundaries. I now tell my clients, if it is related to the work we're doing, [00:05:00] send it by email because an email, I can snooze it on my email. I can set it for a reminder at a specific time of when I can respond to it.
I'm not going to lose an email, but for a while I had clients who had messaged me. On Instagram, on Facebook, LinkedIn, or they'd email or they'd text me. And so I had all these different channels coming in and it was really easy to lose track of a communication or miss one entirely. So set some clear communication boundaries of.
When and how you will communicate. I said I learned this one the hard way. I learned this one because I had a client who literally used to message me on any platform she happened to be on whenever she had a thought about something related to her business. So she would just, if she was on Facebook, it would come through Facebook.
If she was on Instagram, it'd come through Instagram and she would just send these [00:06:00] almost like stream of consciousness messages. On whatever platform she happened to be on at the time, and it was really hard to keep up. And she might start a thought in Instagram, and then she'd be on LinkedIn and continue on the same thread.
It was impossible to keep track of all of her messages. So I set some clear communication boundaries at that point with all of my clients, anything related to the work we're doing, send it by email, because that way. I won't lose track of it, and I definitely won't miss it. And then how about emotional boundaries?
I think this might be one of the most difficult ones to navigate as a coach because, um, this is, like, we're doing personal work with our clients, and, you know, in some fields, like in counseling or psychology, certain practitioners, they have set boundaries for them where they cannot talk about their personal lives, they cannot interact with their client on any personal level.
But as [00:07:00] coaches, we don't have that within our scope of practice. So we need to set these for ourselves. And that can be kind of tricky because you are developing a personal relationship with this person. You're getting to know them. You're talking about personal things. And sometimes it's difficult to define where that professional line is so that you're not letting your personal feelings about the client influence your business decisions or your interactions with them.
And that was one I ran into a lot when I was in personal training. Now I'm very clear about maintaining a certain distance to my clients. I still get to know them. I still really enjoy them. I'll still, I will talk about certain aspects of my personal life with my clients if it's related to the work we're doing, but I don't let them into my world anymore.
And I think that's something that every coach or every practitioner outside of the ones I discussed that already have it defined for them in the rule. I think that's something every coach and practitioner needs to sort [00:08:00] of navigate for themselves are where are those lines and intellectual boundaries.
Now this one is related to protection of intellectual property, your ideas and your strategies. So you need to be clear on what information you'll share. And what needs to remain confidential, listen, you know, when it comes to when it comes to the personal development space, a lot of us share the same information, but how you share it, your personal stories, your way of delivering it is unique to you and you can protect that.
In fact, you should protect that. I have had people cross that boundary many times where I've heard people. Sharing my personal story. Stories are very personal to me that I've used as examples with clients or in trainings. And then I hear them sharing that same story as if it's their own. [00:09:00] That's not cool.
That, in my opinion, that is theft. So there's intellectual boundaries. Uh, physical boundaries. If you're working with people in an office environment, or if you're working with people in person, you need to know what those physical boundaries are. You know, I've had some clients who are very, they're very touchy feely.
They like to hug. I'm not a hugger. I don't enjoy that. I, You know, I also find this when I go to networking events. I don't know what it is about networking events, but so many people like to hug at networking events. And listen, if you're my friend, if I know you, if we've had like a personal connection, then I don't mind a hug at all.
What I don't like is a stranger coming up and hugging me when we've just met. And suddenly they're like, Oh, I'm a hugger. And they go in for the hug. And I'm like, I don't even know you. I don't want you in my space. I will [00:10:00] say I think this is one of the good things that came out of the pandemic is I find that people are less huggy now of strangers and they're more likely to ask permission before going in for a hug, which I appreciate.
You can have financial boundaries, and this is important when it comes to Your expenses in business when it comes to financial transactions, client payments, what you'll accept, what you won't accept, how you'll accept payment. You know what? This one also comes into play with bartering for services. I've had so many clients tell me about bad experiences that they have had in trading services with other professionals.
Here are the boundaries I have set my business about trading for services. I will occasionally accept a trade. When we both equally value what each other does, when your service is something that [00:11:00] I'm already looking for and I'm willing to pay for, and when our services are matching or very close in value.
What I won't accept a trade for is if it's something I'm not already looking for that I'm not interested in purchasing. And I also get things in writing now. So if I give you X hours of coaching, you will provide for me. X hours of blank or this specific service, and then there needs to be a time frame involved.
I mean, people who I have traded services for years ago as a personal trainer who have never delivered on what they promised me. And I haven't been a personal trainer for over eight years now. So that gives you an idea of how long that has gone on for. Um, so now I put a deadline on it. I will deliver this amount of hours of coaching or hypnotherapy.
I will do this for you in this [00:12:00] timeframe. You will do this for me within this timeframe. And then ethical boundaries. So this is about your ethical practices and your business dealings. So what about honesty and communication, fairness, um, adherence to your own industry standards and practices? So where are your boundaries on that?
So those are the types of boundaries we can set. But let's talk about how we set these boundaries because, you know, a lot of people talk about boundaries, but they don't tell you how to set them. How do you, how do you set a boundary, Terry? So You know, there are several ways to set boundaries. So the first one is define your priorities, define what's important to you in your life and in your business.
And there's actually a process I take my clients through on. I'm getting really clear and really specific on what's important to them. [00:13:00] And then that helps you to align and set boundaries with what's most important to you. So first define priorities, what's important to you. Um, you want to communicate, number two, communicate clearly and assertively.
So once you have defined what those boundaries are, you need to be able to communicate them clearly to your clients, your business partners, to your team. Be assertive and direct in communicating your boundaries, but still being respectful. In your communication and ensure that others understand what those limits are and what you expect.
You want to set specific work hours. Number three, so many times as entrepreneurs, we get into business and we don't set our work hours and we're just like, I can work whenever I want. I have time freedom. That is not time freedom, my friend, because you will end up working all day, every day, into the night, during family time, [00:14:00] vacations, weekends.
So you need to set what are your work hours going to be? What are the hours of operation of your business? And this helps to manage expectations of your clients. They know when you're available. They know when you're not available for learn to say no. So often we're presented with opportunities and requests by other people.
And not everything is an opportunity. So not everything that's presented as an opportunity is actually an opportunity. Often they are distractions. And there's a quote by Warren Buffett. Um, I'm going to paraphrase it because I don't have it in front of me. But the difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to more things.
You need to say no to more things than you probably think you should be saying no to. If you're saying no to a lot of things that come your way, you're probably doing pretty well. So you've got to learn to say no, and no is a full sentence. [00:15:00] Now there are ways that you can say no very constructively, and I could do a whole other episode on how to say no, and maybe, maybe I'll actually do that.
But you need to learn how to say no. No to people and to feel good about saying no, because you're not, you know, you don't want to put yourself in a position where you say yes to something that's not aligned with your values and your boundaries. And now you're doing work that you really don't want to be doing that you're not excited about.
That's draining you emotionally and physically, possibly even financially. And you're going to end up resentful and you might not even do your best work in that case. So just learn to say no. Uh, five delegate and outsource. I had John Jonas on the show a few weeks ago. If you haven't listened to that episode, go back and listen to it because he is a master at outsourcing or as he calls it insourcing in your business.
So you need to recognize what can be delegated and what can be outsourced to somebody else. [00:16:00] This helps to manage your workflow, but also empowers the people who you hire to be on your team to stay really focused and engaged in the business. You know, I used to be the kind of person that thought I had to do everything in my business in order for it to still be my business.
Like this is my business. I have to have my hands on every aspect of it. And I realized like, that's ridiculous. I can't do everything. I'm not going to be as good at doing things in my business that someone else would be good at. A specialist in that area. I need to focus on what I do really well and let someone else do the things that they do really well.
So, outsource. Another way of setting boundaries is to implement self care routines. You need to be taking care of yourself, especially if you are a solopreneur, because you are probably doing the job of like 50 people. At times. So you really need to prioritize taking care of you because you're not going to have someone else doing that for you.
No one else [00:17:00] is going to take care of you. So you need to be making sure that you are setting time for exercise for your hobbies, things that you enjoy that bring you fulfillment and your business is not your hobby. I used to make that mistake of saying, you know, people would say, what are your hobbies?
And I was like, hobbies? What hobbies? I'm self employed. My business is my hobby. No, your business is not your hobby. It's your business. What are things outside of your business that bring you joy? And if you don't know what those are, like I didn't, then it's time to get creative and to start exploring.
What are some things that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of business? Relaxation practices. I do self hypnosis pretty much every day or meditation. Um, it's important that you're taking time to relax, to rest, to totally rest your mind, to focus your mind. And so by setting these into carefully planned routines, You will make, [00:18:00] it'll make you more effective in your business.
You'll be more productive, you'll be more effective, you'll get more done. And I know that as entrepreneurs, we often think like, Oh, if I take time out of my work day to go work out or to meditate or to take a nap, I'm going to lose productivity time. The truth is you'll be more productive when you are taking care of yourself.
So make sure that you're implementing those self care routines and they don't have to take a lot of time. My morning routine takes less than 10 minutes. You know, a workout can be less than 30 minutes. It doesn't have to be hours and hours and hours each day of self care that in and of itself becomes exhausting, which is kind of counterproductive to self care.
You know, you can take. 20 minutes in the afternoon and do a meditation, 10 minutes and do a meditation, five minutes and do a meditation. Just a little moment for you to center and ground yourself and focus your mind, relax your body for a bit, and that will make you more productive on the other side of it.[00:19:00]
You know, and then also for those of you who have teams, if you're leading a team of people, remember that you are setting an example for them as well. So when you're setting clear boundaries and you're taking the time and the energy to take care of yourself, you're also making that okay for your team.
They are going to be more productive and more loyal. When they feel like they're able to take care of themselves and manage their own boundaries, because you are leading by that example. So keep that in mind as well. And I think one of the hardest parts about setting boundaries is dealing with the guilt or the fear of missing out on business or opportunities.
And I think it's really important to understand that setting boundaries is not only beneficial for you, but for your business's long term health and growth as well. Listen, we've all had that client [00:20:00] who demands and expects more of us than we are able to give them. Um, I have less of those clients now because I'm better at screening for that and setting my boundaries clearly up front.
But I've had those clients who expect me to answer the text at 11 o'clock at night, who expect me to drop everything and cater to their every whim and idea and thought that comes their way. Taking on those clients and not upholding boundaries with them is going to cost you your wellbeing mentally, physically, energetically, emotionally, on every possible level.
But not only that, but when you're not managing your boundaries with those kinds of people who want to take advantage of you, It's going to bleed into your work with other clients because they won't get the best you. I remember when I started in personal training, one of the first lessons I learned on boundaries was at a [00:21:00] conference, a fitness conference I was at, and there was a man named Peter Twist.
of twist conditioning, a leader in the field. And he was talking about, or someone asked him the question, like, what do you do when you get a bad client? And he said, I fire them. And then he went on to explain that you have to let go of the bad clients because that. You know, the energy that it takes to manage that client, the, you, you dread seeing them.
So let's say that that client that you're seeing that you just, you, you can't stand working with them. Let's say they're at three o'clock in the afternoon and you have client appointments leading up to it. If your mind is thinking all day, Oh man, at three o'clock, I have to deal with this person, then you're not present for your clients who come before them.
And if they exhaust and drain you in their session and their appointment in the meeting, and now you have other work to do, maybe you [00:22:00] have another client or another appointment after. Those people are no longer getting the best of you either because you're drained, you're depleted, you're frustrated, it costs your business.
It's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for the business, and it's not great for that client either because they're also not getting the best of you, they'd be better served by someone who is more aligned with what they need and what they want. Um. So do this without guilt. There is no guilt in setting boundaries and you're not going to miss out on business.
You will get clients who are more aligned with who you are and how you run your business and that is priceless. You know, I have a client who in, uh, in her industry it is It's not only common to work weekends, it's expected, but she didn't want to work Saturdays. That is family time to her. And that's more important than anything.
So she just set the boundary and said, I no longer am available [00:23:00] on Saturdays. I don't work Saturdays. And guess what? Her clients just booked with her other days of the week. She lost nothing. She didn't lose anything by saying, I'm not available on Saturdays. In fact, her business has grown. The more she has become intentional with her boundaries and aligned with her values, her business has just grown with clients who she really enjoys working with.
So never feel like, Oh, everyone else in my industry works. Evenings. I have to work evenings. You don't have to do anything. Remember why you got into entrepreneurship. You got into it probably for time freedom and money freedom. That's why we get into this. Time freedom is not working around other people's schedules.
Time freedom does not mean that you are available 24 7. That's ridiculous. Time freedom means you choose and that you have. Time to play and enjoy life that you are not [00:24:00] consumed by working every hour of every day. That's ridiculous. So, you know, if you do feel guilty about setting boundaries, maybe there's some work there to do.
Maybe there's, maybe you need to come see me for a session and I will help you blow through that guilt because there shouldn't be guilt in taking care of yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself within the business and your business will not survive because you will burn out, you'll crash and burn.
I have been there. It's not fun. So listen to me the next time that you are feeling guilty about setting boundaries or maintaining your boundaries. I want you to hear my voice inside your head, warning you that that is the direct path to burnout. You are not doing anyone favors by crossing your boundaries and violating your values.
You are not helping you. You're not helping your clients because in the long run, you won't be able to serve them if you're burnt out. [00:25:00] So remember setting healthy boundaries, it's going to take some practice. It's a skill like everything else. It's going to take practice and it's about finding where is that balance for you?
Where are those lines for you respecting yourself and others and ultimately it will lead to a more sustainable. successful business. So thanks for joining me today. I hope you got a lot of value out of this episode. And if you did, please share it with a friend and as always leave that five star review until next week, keep striving for excellence in all that you do.
And next week I have a very special guest on who's going to be talking about How to publish your book, how to write your book, how to publish your book. So for those of you who are talking about writing books, you want to write a book, you know, what's the next step for you and your business. You need to listen to this episode.
It's going to be amazing. So come back next week for that. Until then, take care. And I [00:26:00] hope you have an amazing week. Bye for now.
